Pair of jewels! Learn why the “Philosopher” Rosales reappeared and what he is looking for with the “Manguanguas”

Published at: 04/11/2026 11:21 PM

Wednesday, November 04, 2026.

Maracaibo, Santa Lucia sector, diagonal to Pa' Que Luis, in the white house with the red bars that have a Chávez banner and a mushy sign that says: WE WILL WIN!

 

Patriot Patricio the Maracucho.

What was Diosdado? How are you my dear brother?

Cousin! I'm not going to start the letter until you sit in the black chair...!

Brother! Remember that the gossip I bring to you about the failed opposition is so scandalous that anyone who reads them standing up can even get an embolism, which is why I recommend that you read the letter sitting and relaxed, lest your bilirubin rise. Malay! Take advantage before reading the menu and send yourself at least one cup of the guayoyo coffee, the one you like so much, so that you can be active as if you were an electric fan in an old car. Millet! Take a really deep breath three times, now I'll close my eyes and make a wish.

Take advantage of the fact that brother Jorge Rodríguez is watching the Mazo to remind him that tomorrow morning, like every Thursday of the year, you will be in the office first place, because with all the information I bring you about the stale, failed and fascist opposition, you are going to be crazier than Manuel Rosales, alias “The Philosopher of Zulia”, when he said that his biggest dream is the one he gives him after eating.

Good Primo! Now you are rolling up your seat belt around your chest, and imagine again that you are TORETO, the bald pussy from the movie “Fast and Furious”.

Malay! Remember that last week I informed you that I am already active working at “Bejucal”, doing everything that my new boss, Henry Alviarez, alias “Teletubi”, tells me firsthand about all the crazy things of “opposition extremism”, obviously, always with the help of our cooperating patriots “La Popis” and the “Candy Candy” who are attentive to the slightest movement. I warn you that this new phase will be very unknown but quite fun. We Will Win.

Brother! So that you know that I was at the scene of the events, no one told me what happened last week at the press conference convened by the head of the communication swarm, that is, Claudia Macero, alias “The Stranger”, who together with the security team attacked more than 20 journalists from national media, and did not let them enter the UCAB in the venue where a new show was going to be held, I mean, a press conference. Cousin! This was on purpose so that no national media would ask uncomfortable questions, there is a lot of fear. I repeat! I was there when they gave the order to “Claudia Macero” to only let international media correspondents in.

Goddess! Here's a better gossip than when it wakes up raining on a Sunday morning and it's a day off.

You know, that I had already informed you that around here, the plan is to set up a 24/7 show in order to keep alive the presence in networks and media, maybe that's not surprising, you know that these people have never been serious. Imagine that you have to have a lot of balls to go down to La Guaira just to take a picture and make stories for social networks, tell me, if that's not a show, then it looks just the same. Cousin! The people of Guairense do not need that, our people today are rising up with more dignity than ever, and the Guairense people have and will continue to count on the support of the Bolivarian government and its leaders Delcy, Jorge and Diosdado, nothing more!

Brother! So you know that these pussies are not government and the positions are already being distributed, even for the condominium president. What I can tell you is that the information given to me by our cooperating patriot “La Popis” is real. Primo, they held a conclave via zoom, the first thing that was said was that Juan Pablo Guanipa, alias “Diabolical Tequeño”, could not be allowed to take center stage because according to them the “Tequeño Satanico” is ambitious in power and more traitor than a manaplas chair when a fat man like me feels. Cousin! The “Popis” also told me that Inmundo González, Ledezma's vampire, Corina Yoris, and Andrés Velásquez, alias “Tapa e 'Gusanillo”, are like cockroaches when you spray plagatox on them, that is, from one side to the other seeing what position they can ask for in their imaginary world, because according to them, it's a matter of hours to take power, malayah! I don't know what these people smoke. But the most stubborn of all was Inmundo González, who said that he should be the candidate again.

Cousin! Since you told me to find out how politics is moving in Zulia, I contacted our cooperating patriot “ASOMAMA” who is the director of the Association of Husbands Abused by Women, and is also a member of A New Time. Goddess! ASOMAMA told me that Manuel Rosales' “Philosopher” has already decided to relaunch for the government of Zulia, but first he will ask for primaries, and if not he will throw his son, because Manuel's order is to wallow in primaries those of Will to Steal, First the Copper and the Vent Extremists. Brother! ASOMAMA told me this so that you can say it in the Mazo: the “Philosopher of Zulia” is going to start touring all the parishes of Maracaibo and the municipalities of the electoral corridor of Zulia to accept UNT, but in addition, he will support the candidacy of Rafael Ramírez, alias “Yogi Bear”, of the Union and Change party, for the mayor of Maracaibo, this in order to make life impossible for “Tequeño Crudo” and Lester Toledo, alias “The Tinder Swindler”, who are now more eager than Ramos Allup and Bernabé Gutiérrez.

Goddess! Another thing; just so you know that ASOMAMA says that “Philosopher of Zulia” joined the group of “Throw Me Something”, that is, of those who are now pulling rope at you know who would let them be candidates. In that same order are the “Manguangua” and the “Pointless Pencil” by Ecarri. Primo are people without personality, without judgment, until not long ago they spoke ill of the character, but this is not new, first they went with Guaidó and then left him alone; then they hit Inmundo and left him alone; now they hit his shell and mother of pearl later they hated him, that's how they are.

Brother! Our cooperating patriot “El Pejoteco” sent you better information than adding tomato sauce to the mondongo. Pejoteco learned that Gustavo Ruiz, candidate for the governor of Zulia for “Come to Extremism”, will support Julio Montoya as a candidate for mayor of San Francisco, but with the only condition that he leaves the fight to “Tequeño Crudo” and go to Vente and bring all the structures of Primero los Cobres. Another thing Diosdado! Pejoteco sent you to say that Juan Pablo Guanipa, alias “Tequeño Siniestro” pays a certain Juan Carlos Rincón, alias “El Sicario”, to end up on social media for Un Nuevo Tiempo and everything that smells like Manuel Rosales in Zulia.

Cousin! Our cooperating patriot “Sorbetico” sent you to say that there he is thinking of returning to the country, a certain Eduardo Menoni, alias “Youtuber”, who wants to found an extreme right party to launch himself as a presidential candidate. But that's not all Diosdado! There too, and, that, that, Eduardo Bittar, alias, “The Nazi” is coming to launch himself as a candidate, who I suppose will also compete with the Blanca Rosa Marmol de León, who will also soon announce his candidacy for the radical right. Cousin! I named all these fuckers “Free Radicals” and for now, all together, they don't fill even a Chevrolet Spark with people.

Malay! Before leaving, there wrote to me by our patriotic co-opetant “Rico Mac Pato” who is a close friend of the business chambers of FEDECAMARAS; “Mac Pato” told me that big and small businessmen are very concerned about sabotage attempts and street actions because they don't want to lose the stability and economic growth of their companies and businesses. Cousin! Rico Mac Pato says that the business sector continues to bet that it is the Bolivarian government that continues to manage economic growth and generate guarantees for the large investments that are coming to Venezuela.

Millet! And I'm going to leave you this ñapa because I love you more than eating the final bite of an empanada. I tell you that they gave the order to Henry Alviarez, alias “Teletubi”, to assemble the national model of candidates for mayors, councilors, governors and regional legislators, with the instruction that they can only be people from Vente Extremista, leaving out the candidates of the parties that make up the PUPU, I tell you that because then the Malaysians come out to say that they are more united than ever.

 

Goddess! Just so you know, as ordered by our sister Delcy Eloína, mom turned on Christmas in the house on November 1st, she sees that old Josefina was so depraved about Christmas, that she even decorated the bathroom of the house, and put the Christmas covers on all the pocetas. Cousin! But when mom went to put up the tree and the crib, we had the same problem as last year; in other words, since in the manger, of all the animals, only the reindeer was missing, mom came up with the idea of putting a picture of Simonovis to solve, poor thing no one even names him anymore, we're going to name him Pa'que facture. Look at Malayo! Next weekend the old Josefina is going to start making the hallacas and she sent you to say that she's going to prepare your 20 leg hallacas so that you can take it to the boys; and besides, she's going to send you a candy of majarete so that you can warm up your engines.

Good Primo! I'm leaving, what I love you is dick, I love you more than a “Curvina stuffed” with the goodies; the kind sold in the bohios of “Santa Rosa de Agua” in the northern part of Maracaibo. Malay! The Curvina must be at least 3 and a half kilos, of those that fish off the coast of San Francisco. Fill it with plenty of head onion and tomatoes cut into large slices, green paprika, cut into long strips, enough crushed garlic that is quite spicy, slices of potatoes and all the necessary condiments and to have enough flavor. Cousin! and on the other hand, that they add slices of parboiled egg. Goddess! As a side dish, they serve me at least two kilos of rice from the masacoudo with brown noodles; aside from fried green banana toasts, with salt on top, grated cheese and pink sauce; with a serving of ripe avocado with olive oil on top. Don't miss the respective hand cheese, the parboiled cassava and the “Sur del Lago” milk cream pot. Brother! And just in case you still have doubts about my respect and loyalty to you, we can attach a fried Lebranche service, which is served in large slices. To drink, a plastic guarapo jug with lemon and plenty of ice. For dessert, it's better to order something light because December is coming and you have to lose a few kilos, save him an icaco candy from those sold in a large glass jar, and, that, the icacos are big with enough meat to suck my ass.

Good Primo! What I love you is dick brother, you take care of me; change and go.

Mazo News Team