Not even the Rose of Guadalupe dared that much! Learn how La Sayo writes and stars in her own novel

Published at: 30/09/2026 10:30 PM

Caracas, Wednesday, September 30, 2026.

FROM MY IMAGINARY SHIP, ON MY WAY TO SEARCH FOR CORI

Patriota del Valle Arriba Country Club

Hello gordooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! How are you, my chubby politzia, my baby Gerber del Furrial, my spoiled baby? I'm kind of drunk because I can't handle that much. No, Diosdi! No! , this is too much for me. I can't handle so much theater, so much falsehood, so much lies, so much envy, so much selfishness... I'm seriously exhausted and that's why I came to sleep with King Bacchus. Wait! I'm not betraying you, Baco is the wine I'm drinking to forget that I have a crazy friend whose name is María Machado Parisca and who is now Panamanian, that's right! Noooo! Goddamn Joséeeee! What did I do to deserve a friend like that, please!

MY TAMARIND CANDY FROM THOSE THAT SELL IN THE SMALL TOWN BODEGUITAS. I think we should light a white candle IN THE COUNTRY CHAPEL, because these two weeks have been totally crazy, they even did witchcraft to keep my friend Delcy from coming to New York, and as La Chiki, my hairdresser who dates a PJ goat, says, we are seeing the BIGGEST role that Cori has played in her entire so-called political career. Chiki says that this reminds her of a novel starring Marina Baura, oh my God! I can't handle that much.

God! In all the years that I have been writing to you, Wednesday to Wednesday, for the first time I don't know how or where to begin this letter. Narrating what has happened with my friends in the last few days is like telling a Greek tragedy, but since Cori's level is no big deal, and we would offend Greeks and Romans alike, then it's better to compare Cori with a mix of the Rose of Guadalupe, with Laura in America, Case Closed, Family Cases and Kassandra. Do you remember that novel? And don't come to me with the fact that you weren't born when that, darn it!

MY DOG PATTY WITH CASABEL (you don't eat that with bread, God). Cori decided to write, produce and star in her own novel. It began with her departure from Venezuela, which looked like an episode of MacGyver; then came the fractured column of lies from navigating, according to her, several days adrift and without food, a story full of lies like those now invented by my super friend Delsita. Then Cori arrived in Norway, received the Innobel Peace Prize; she went to the White House where deliveries come in; she opened an office in Washington; she toured countries, attended inaugurations and closed a square in Madrid to shout Mona at my commadre, my soul sister, the president in charge Delcy Rodríguez. In the novel, Cori also kidnapped what was left of the opposition and forced them to sign the Panama Pact; then she was left out of the dialogue because the lice of Borges and Crazy Leo took her out; later, in the midst of mourning and pain due to the seismic double, Cori told Venezuelans that she should return to Venezuela to solve the country's problems, but parenthesis, not a million dollars sent while she spent four million euros on her son's wedding in Spain, where even my aunt Corina Parisca de Machado, in a wheelchair, danced and rejoiced over the pain of tragedy. But now, apparently, we are entering the final chapter of that novel turned into a series with more episodes and tears than “Albertico Limonta and The Right to Be Born”. The ending of the melodrama of Cori and her adventures tells the story of a woman who tried to reach Venezuela by air, sea and land and when she finally succeeds, wassss! That part is on hold for another episode, damn it! All bad baby! all wrong!

Like any novel, The Adventures of Cori is full of fables and unreal exaggerations, but God! there's no way! there's no way! that the chapter about the alleged seven attempts to enter Venezuela is true, I KNOW WHAT I TELL YOU, my Baby, I KNOW. This screenplay was written between Magalli Meda, Claudia Macero, Idania Chirinos, Nitu Pérez Osuna, Carla Angola, Goizeder Azúa, Orlando Avenaño and the Spaniard David Alandete, ¡Bebito! What can go wrong with those brilliant minds? The objective is clear, to exaggerate, to invent to sell the image of a suffering woman, “the blocked heroine”.

Bone! My king, it's PURE THEATER! the boat was never really going to sail; flights to Aruba and Curaçao were never approved, in short! It's a pure show designed so that when Delcy was trending from New York, David Alandete and Idania Chirinos came out to do a report crying and denouncing that Cori was “imprisoned”, although after the mess that was set up with Panamanian authorities, they stopped talking about being imprisoned and changed to “kidnapped” to end up stating that “someone” is trying to hinder Cori's entry into Venezuela, when the truth is that everything is a lie, Cori was locked in her own script.

MY FRIED RONCADOR WITH CHINESE OCUMO. We all know that my friend Cori thrives on scandal, on the show, that's his vitamin. God! Why do I tell you that Cori got caught up in her own script? because even returning to Venezuela is not a convenient option, because she has absolutely nothing to offer other than empty speeches and violence. Drink! I ask you: why does Cori say he's coming to save Venezuelans? , when I reflected on that, I understood that, although I am in denial because I'm the one who has to put up with it, today I think the ideal is for Cori to arrive and do it quickly, because when people understand that she came back and didn't solve anything for them, then I'll have to go with her to the Vallés Funeral Home to witness her political funeral, oh well!

Drink! when you carefully observe and analyze everything Cori did to try to obscure our sister Delcy Eloína, one confirms that my friends are hopelessly insane. My affectionate little bear! , when I saw that Cori didn't care that the plan for a flight and her Panamanian nationality were made public, I was thoughtful and looking at myself in the mirror I said to myself: myself! How far can Cori go? , God! Cori is still the envious and selfish girl from when we studied at Merici School, she didn't mind sabotaging her classmates if she felt opaque, Drunk! you have to be very envious in this life, I mean! speechless!

PARENTHESIS, my little fiufiu baby, have you ever heard of “the Nobel disease”? Well, I googled it the other day while they were doing my pedicure, and it turns out that it's a real term that describes the tendency of some winners to develop crazy, crazy and messianic ideas after receiving the medal. For Dior and Cartier! I think my girl suffers from it, but with a little detail: when Cori received it, I WAS ALREADY crazy before. The Nobel only aggravated his symptoms!

MY LLANERO CHEESECAKE WITH PLENTY OF MELAO, SWEET LIKE YOU WHEN YOU GET BRAVITO. God! a flight plan with six crew members, including a Panamanian named María Corina Machado, a woman named after her! When the flight plan leaked and Cori ordered damage control, for which he used the worn and transfigured louse of Idania Chirinos, whom he shouted “run because Cori is under arrest”, I remembered my friend Lilian Tintori shouting “they're torturing Leo” when my boy was only lifting weights to get muscles out. Baby! they are the same, the same story, different versions. But that show that Cori was imprisoned for didn't last long, Cori got into trouble and caused a problem for the Panamanian government, I'll tell you the details on WeChat.

Not satisfied with the great failure in her attempt to obscure our presence as a country in the UN and in high world politics, Cori decided to send back Claudia Macero's lousy woman, who only you, me, and five others know her. Drink! Remember that I had warned you in previous letters that Cori was going to send to her mischievous court before she returned, and, incidentally, as part of the welcome, my friend Cori asked Henry Alviárez and Magalli Meda to set up a supposed “Ronda”, where I think the only one that came out shooting was Cori with such a failure, because the mobilization was very poor and foolish. God! , neither paying for motorized vehicles, nor offering money, nor making people believe that it was Cori who was coming, they managed to move masses.

But wait for my honey candy. It turns out that, with the return of The Stranger, the resentment of my Uncle the Unclean and my Aunt Mercedes, who insist that they help them with a million dollars to return to Venezuela. Uncle called me indignantly to tell me how was it possible that Claudia had returned and he had not. God! What if we make a cow to bring it? , the thing is that it gives me something, my poor uncle ate the money between his expensive tastes and the two sons-in-law who are a pair of jewels.

MY SOUP FROM GUARA-GUARA FROM CAICARA DE MATURÍN. Cori has already made the decision to return to Venezuela, while one of his advisors insists that he wait after the elections in the United States. I really do know when he's coming, but you're very gossipy and you're going to come out, I'd better tell you when you come to visit me tonight. Meanwhile, Cori ordered the street to be heated to increase the cost of his return. At the same time, Cori ordered his swarm and personal friends to increase the volume of communication, for example, Pedro Mario Burelli and Esteban Gerbasi, Cori's main friends, no longer disguise their attacks on those who until recently were their gods, for a reason the corrupt Burelli thinks from Europe and not from his mansion in Washington.

MY MILKY SWEET WITH FRESH CHEESE. Get ready because I have some delicate news for you: evil is starting to take its toll, some real health conditions are beginning to appear in my friends Cori and this worries me because in any case I don't wish him harm. I am really worried and she told me that when she arrives in Venezuela she wants to talk to her usual doctors.

Speaking of concerns, I died dead when Rick Scott said that Cori is coming to talk to Delcy and to drink anise with you. Explain to me, my baby, what is that? , explain to me! , I can't understand why you would sit with Cori, for Dior and Cartier I'm dying of jealousy, my baby, of JEALOUSY! , but besides that Cori can poison you, it can hurt you, please don't see her.

Diosdado José LISTEN TO ME because this is the part where I get toxic!

Cori is already on his way, although it is possible that he will detour to Central America if they give him the permission he requested, otherwise be prepared for you to join me and be part of the welcome committee. By the way, we should go swimming on the beaches of Tocopero, maybe we'll get a nice mermaid.

The Cori-María Elvira duo is operating against the White House, you will remember me, both are treacherous and go with the highest bidder.

The Crazy Leo, taking advantage of the role of Cori, is thinking of activating a whirlwind tour. But it is confirmed that he paid for a Lobby because he wants to return and I wonder: Crazy Leo is not supposed to be Spanish, just as Cori is Panamanian.

Cori has asked us to paint murals, to build a carriage, to fill the streets with roses, in short, my love, he is asking for a tremendous and amazing reception, as if the Queen of England were arriving. Honestly, I don't know if I can handle that much. The truth is that Marco Velasco's uncle already has part of the logistics ready, as does my friend Sairam.

We are ready.

I write to you and I feel like in the movie Lady and the Wanderer, I'm a princess and you're a Cacri.

Miss me, remember that you are my fiu-fiu baby.

Mazo News Team