Don't hit one! Find out why the head of the extremist circus is hysterical about her “macaws”

Published at: 11/11/2026 11:35 PM

Wednesday, November 11, 2026.

Maracaibo, Santa Lucia sector, diagonal to Pa' Que Luis, in the white house with the red bars that have a Chávez banner and a mushy sign that says: WE WILL WIN!

Patriot Patricio the Maracucho.

What was Diosdado? How are you my dear brother?

Cousin, don't start reading the letter until you're sitting right in the black chair. It's seriously Diosdado! You see that I bring you some gossip straight out of the oven, but whatever you read it, you might get a fever because of how toxic this information is. Millet! Before you begin to read the letter, at least persecute yourself three times in a row and entrust yourself to God. Malay! For the record, I warned you, get ready because it's not going to be easy for you to assimilate all the twists I bring you. But, anyway, to prevent you from collapsing emotionally; write to Brother Jorge Rodríguez and confirm that tomorrow Thursday, first thing in the morning, you will be stuck in the office, and first of all; because with all the information I bring you about the extremist and failed opposition, you are going to be crazier than Manuel Rosales, alias “The Philosopher of Zulia”, when he said that: once he pulled a fish out of the water for fear that it would drown.

Now yes mijo! Let's go, as Maracuchos dermatologists say, that is, “straight to the grain” because the thing in the stale opposition is more hairy than the barbershop floor.

Cousin! You know that our cooperating patriots “La Popis”, “La Candy Candy” and me were rehired in the communication and security team of the empty shell of “Vente Extremista”, which is not even a political party, but we are there in silence, listening to everything. Brother! The last thing we found out was that the people of SÚMATE, an NGO linked to “opposition extremism”, came up with the idea of creating a new database with personal information about Venezuelans inside and outside the country, with the excuse of using it for future electoral processes, but that's a lie, because they want to use that new database to sell it to big data transnationals and earn some copper, because as I had told you in previous letters, the “Rancian Opposition” is sucking and crazy, because its former allies and These no longer happen to him not even for soft drinks. Brother! What my beloved “Popis” says is logical, and that is that the “Circus of Extremism” could once again use this data to set up a hunt.

Goddess! Here's some more good information than eating hidden powdered milk with sugar.

So that you know that Henry Alviarez, alias “Teletubi”, is going to have his phone broken by the few remaining groups of the “Comanditos” in the interior of the country, since they are very unhappy with the imposition of new “political leaders” of “Vente Extremista” in different municipalities and states; where they are now sending pure paratroopers who want to be candidates, and then leave their furry behind. Millet! The truth is that the empty shell of “Vente Extremista”, which is not even registered as a party, is disintegrating like a soda cracker in a glass of water, and they are being killed with a clean fist for the candidacies of elections that have not arrived, now they want to vote, not before.

Malay! Here comes another atomic bomb, so hold on tight to that chair.

Our cooperating patriot “Candy Candy” found out firsthand that the “Head of the Extremist Circus” is very upset because the new political platform “AVE” has not finished starting up and fulfilling its objective of replacing the Unitary Platform, that is, the PUPÚ, because remember that the joke sent to create the absurdity of “AVE” to take power from the mini parties that made life in the PUPU and sabotage the control that Will to Steal and First the Cobres, who according to the owner of the circus, they were sabotaging her from the inside. Goddess! Here the catch is that “AVE” died before he was born, and it is so X, that not even the heads of the rancid opposition parties follow their social networks.

Malay! Here I bring you a spinning top so you can dance it on your fingernails.

Our cooperating patriot “La Popis” told me that since the “Rancian Opposition” is running out of script, they went to the Rodeo I detention center, to set up a new show with the “Chief of the Circus” who now wants to put on a media show demanding the release of scammers, terrorists, murderers, drug traffickers and even those incriminated in the PDVSA CRYPTO plot; Brother! these people have nothing to do with political issues, and they are paying sentences for crimes stipulated in the Venezuelan Criminal Code. But that's not all Primo! The extremist opposition was very upset with this show, because they wanted to imitate Lilian Tintori when she started shouting: “LEO, LEO”, and woke up the “Wireless Princess” because all she did was sleep, this princess.

Goddess! Do you remember our cooperating patriot Ropa Sola? Who is called that because he is so skinny that he doesn't have a big toe. Good Primo! Ropa Sola sent you to tell you to buy a lot of cotufas and grab the stage, because in the United States they are already sentencing former bankers linked to the Venezuelan extreme right for money laundering that comes from drug trafficking. Malay! , he also sent you to say the “Ropa Sola” that soon the authorities of that country are going after the heads of another big shot who financed the fascist opposition with assets from illegal channels. Millet! I leave this information so far because your friend the minister is the one who keeps all that file, there are more sewers that are being uncovered and that are going to splash all the rancid opposition.

Cousin! I spoke this morning with our cooperating patriot “Cabeza e' Motor” to the hell they call him that because it's uglier than an old car underneath; but he's more loyal than the TITANIC musicians. Cabeza e' Motor, who is a militant of what is left of Cause R, found out that Andrés Velásquez, alias “Tapa e 'Gusanillo”, got tired of begging the owner of the extremist circus to appoint him his vice-president, so he decided to retreat to be a candidate for the governor of Bolívar, but since “Tapa e' Gusanillo” he says he is also sucking and crazy, he is waiting to see if some irregular Colombian groups finance the campaign to be governor. Goddess! But the one thing that “Tapa e' Gusanillo” is not taking into account is that in the Bolivar state, Chavism is more organized than the Formula 1 mechanics.

Goddess! As you always tell me, don't forget to give you information about how politics is moving in Zulia; I contacted our cooperating patriot “Pejoteco” and he gave me some information for you to say live in El Mazo. El Pejoteco learned that Juan Pablo Guanipa, alias “Tequeño Traidor” dropped the line on his longline leader “Juan Carlos Rincón” alias “El Sicario” to scrounge Gustavo Ruiz, alias “The Invisible”, who is the candidate of “Vente Extremista” for the government of Zulia, on social media. Brother! The “Pejoteco” says that Juan Pablo Guanipa, alias “Tequeño Diabolico”, told his media hit man “Juan Carlos Rincón” to drop 2 for the attacks directed at Manuel Rosales and his son Carlos Rosales, and to focus on turning a crap on social networks to get him out of the game, because the “Tequeño Satanico” says that, if he can't be named vice-president, the rancid opposition candidate for the governor of Zulia must be him. Goddess! But that's it; so you know that Gustavo Ruiz, candidate of “Extremist Vente” for the government of Zulia, is not a fool's hair, and he is joining forces with Will to Steal and with the supporters of “Old Face” to destroy the “Tequeño Demoniaco” because the order that came out of Bejucal is to fuck Juan Pablo Guanipa on all fronts, because the “Tequeño Infernal” is more traitor and evil than Lucifer himself.

Cousin! And before I go, I'm going to leave you a peep because I love you more than watching the episode of “Chavo del 8” in Acapulco.

Our cooperating patriot “Tuqueque” just wrote to me, to whom they call him that way because he never talks; he just watches and listens. El Tuqueque heard at a meeting that took place in the Bejucal office where almost no one happens, that if this is the case in the stale opposition; that is, that no one gives them a damn, they will call for a national strike in the first quarter of 2027 to sabotage economic growth and destabilize the country. Millet! The “Tuqueque” told me other very delicate things that were said at this meeting, but I'm passing them on to you by the Telegram group “Chávez Vive” so that you can tell your friend the minister.

Goddess! So you know that this Friday is the Bella Vista lights turn on in Maracaibo, and with that Christmas and the International Chinita Fair officially kicks off here in Zulia. Malay! So you know that, like every December of every year, the old Josefina (my mother) and her friends from the UBCH are going to set up on the stage of CORPOZULA to sing bagpipes, and to wait for the Gran Caribe show, Madero Show and the Vallenato groups. Cousin! Because remember that your godmother is more embarrassing than 'pussy', and it is believed that she is still 20 years old. Millet! Friday night he's waiting on the phone because I'm going to send you some videos of the old woman dancing as if it were a spinning top giving her maraca.

Good brother! I'm leaving! God what I love you is dick. I love you more than a Grilled Chicken from mollejúos, the kind sold in POLLOS DEIVIS, “The Authentic Flavor”, the one that is located on the boulevard of La Coromoto, in the municipality of San Francisco del Zulia. Malay! The chicken must be one of those that give it a lot of crecerina, and they are so big, they look like an ostrich. Brother! Please, when they are roasting the chicken on the grill, give it a lot of turns, and that when the chicken is golden and crispy, that they soak it in the garlic sauce with marinade; that they chop it into large pieces and serve them to me at once. As a side dish, a fatty pork service, sausage that I like: thick, red and sliced; chimichurri, 10 fried sweet arepitas with an extra amount of fried potato chips that fry in old oil because it gives them more flavor; green banana toasts, of which they add grated cheese on top, salt and milk cream, and parboiled cassava that is of the day and that is loose. Obviously, with a large slice of zebu cheese that doesn't fit on the table, which is thick and juicy; and if by chance you still doubt my affection and loyalty for you, we ordered a family ham and corn pizza, with a cheese border plus a service from young people who don't deny cheese and are juicy, and besides, just in case, I'm also going to order a leg arepa with parboiled egg. Cousin! To drink, a shake of tamarind juice with soursop, with plenty of ice, to help me digest and help me visit the bathroom because when I'm in Bejucal I get stressed. Goddess! Since mom always tells me not to abuse food, for dessert, so as not to abuse, let's order for a triangular tray of black cake, with cheese in the middle and wrapped in whipped cream molasses.

 

Take care of me Malay! Change and out!

PS: you trust that we know what we are doing, everything is under control, interesting days are coming.

Mazo News Team